|
hello...
|
|
|
herdiana
260788
spill
links
Naqiah*
Hidayu*
Syaza*
Kartika*
Lina(bds)*
Bubu(Bds)*
Nazurah*
Widya*
Shamida*
Ayieen*
Zhengyi*
Ella*
Syafiq*
Crystal*
Emilia*
Nadiyah*
Chew Sian*
Desi*
Shane*
Shalson*
Raudhah*
Lyn*
Rohaida*
Serene*
Haryana*
Adilah*
Alia*
Mus*
Joey*
Szeyeong*
Jub*
Selina*
Ruzanna*
Sylbest*
WanXin*
Efa*
Nano*
Zoe*
Yasmin* archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
Ive just tasted my first bonus. Alhamdulillah.. But thinking of all the bills i have to pay, the resposibilities i have to fullfill, saddened me right away. If only im rich. Or comes from a rich family. Or have someone to pay the bills for me and insisted to have my money saved. Or not to be an adult right after i graduated from school. If only... Sometimes, when people asked for money, i decline. Im not selfish. But ive to think for myself and family. For the past 3 months, i was poorer than poor. i seemed to be cashless, literally, 1-2 weeks before my pay day. I would asked mself. Where have all the money gone to? How much have i spend? Was i that spendthrift? And then i remembered. I had responsibilities. And people always thought that i only had to pay for my handphone bill. I wish it could be just that. Living with a single parent, a sister who's married with 2 kids and a maid, a brother who's not working and therefore, no income, would not make it easier for me to escape. I can already feel the stress where money is concern. No wonder my late dad used to nag and always stressed himself out when its time to pay the bills. How did he raise his children up by just driving the cabby. I miss him.. And how i wish he could taste a little bit of my hard earned money, at least a little bit of burden lifted off from his shoulders. If only he could live a little longer.. If only... I am such an emotional wreck. And yet, ive to smile for the people who loves me... Im farking demoralised! i wish i am... prettier thinner healthier flawless radiant wiser nicer happier.. i wish....  Happy 12th :) This month, we spent time together... Without your freinds or mine... Without your parents or nieces... Its just, you and me...
We've turned ONE today. Im glad, and happy of course. But there's something troubling me. It didnt occur to me when it was first mentioned. But now it does.. I remember looking at the file and thinking what and how should i request, and i thought, i would be able to spend time with someone. And when the day comes, Im lying on my bed, reading, on a wet cold day. No doubt, the weather's agreeing with me. And this is sooo much fun, NOT! |
