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herdiana
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Naqiah*
Hidayu*
Syaza*
Kartika*
Lina(bds)*
Bubu(Bds)*
Nazurah*
Widya*
Shamida*
Ayieen*
Zhengyi*
Ella*
Syafiq*
Crystal*
Emilia*
Nadiyah*
Chew Sian*
Desi*
Shane*
Shalson*
Raudhah*
Lyn*
Rohaida*
Serene*
Haryana*
Adilah*
Alia*
Mus*
Joey*
Szeyeong*
Jub*
Selina*
Ruzanna*
Sylbest*
WanXin*
Efa*
Nano*
Zoe*
Yasmin* archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
im clueless.. U attacked me when im unprepared. im confused. why do u have to say all this? why do u think i dont need u anymore? why do u feel that u were the one who made me sad? WHY? i dont have many people that can make me smile when i frown. Other than naqiah, you are able to brighten up my day with just a 'Hi'. why do u have to say all that? Do u think leaving is the solution? U want me to be happy. But if u leave, how can i be? U're being selfish and its unfair to me. Sometimes, its not because of u im sad. I do have other problems. DO u really wanna end our 'friendship'? just because u think u're at fault? Or is it because u're tired of me? I have no say since u've made up ur mind. I wouldnt want u to leave though. I still need u, b. sorry for causing any problem or inconvenience.. missing u. specially dedicated to u ..b. hi hi hi...im fine..no worries.. wasnt being myself yesterdae..here's a quick view of the Racial harmony concert and band investiture... u can view da rest under my snapshots...  concert was fun!  i miss changkat band! i want a boyfriend can? but come to think of it..its tiring. HOW! oso no one wants me.. hahha.. im a Pathetic shit! have fun people... start ur day with a SMILE!!! FUCK! why i always like the wrong person? I should have known better. Why am i even hoping? fuck diana.. how stupid can u get? now u have to deal with ur own feelings... ! Blame it on ur stupidity... U've gone through that once..why go through it again! Haven't u had enough? fuck!i hate myself! Everyone's wishing me happy birthday.. thank u all for that. but the question is...am i happy? A friend knew i wasnt being myself the day before my birthday. I just couldnt bring myself to be excited. Its like as if there's something punching/ stabbing me and i felt suffocated. Kept frowning and all. So, i ended my sweet 17 with a frown? That's horrible. There's a few messages i received after midnight. Strange thing was those who wished me were all my friends, not someone close to me.. but i dont mind i guess.. WOke up in the morning, received 8 msgs. and there's more.. Was abit late for lecture. Had to walk briskly to reach on time. Received the first gift from rafta. Was super shocked when the guys sang a birthday song in the lecture theater at the end of lecture... Had mask fitting after that. We had to breathe in this stuff and taste it. Its bitter, went straight to my throat. I didnt over react unlike others. Went to rinse off the taste. Was on the phone with joy when i bumped into my friend and 'bluek'! she threw up on me.. on my face. yes... washed it off but i cant take the smell. had headache after dat. but i didnt blame her lah. Accident happens. no plans or whatsoever after school. Hw PATHETIC! REally pathetic lah.. was kinda sad actually. Never had this kinda birthday before. my family's celebrating tmr.. wadahell.. I just wasnt happy. People kept asking me to cheer up but i just couldnt. Sorry people if i disappoint u. caught pirate with malkeith. REceived a present from him. awww... got home, met ismail.. got A WHOLE BAG OF PRESENT! i asked, "is this a birthday gift or an engagement gift?" ALOT! oh well, i haven't open yet. I'll open them tmr ayte.. i wonder what's inside.. This is the 2nd year im 'celebrating' birthday without my dad. I just miss him soooo much. Am i feeling much better now? HOnestly, i dont know... HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO ME...though its the worst birthday ever! Another person has gone, leaving his family behind...just like what had happened to me. I was having my tutorial yesterday when my sister msg-ed me, stating that cik sak(ishak ahmat) has passed away. I couldnt believe it at first as it was so sudden and unexpected. If u viewers are wondering what's our relationship, well, he was my mother's close friend ever since i was small. Wait, i think even before i was born. So, we've known each other for so long. Both families used to go out together when we were younger... From some angle, he looked like my late dad. Maybe because of the hair? Or something... -shrugged- Yesterday, we went over to his place for a visit. Reached there around 10+ pm. Was told that the decease will be brought home from jakarta around 1am. So we waited. Then extended to 2am. Then to 2.30-3am. Almost decided to go home until we received a call stating that they were on thier way. So we waited..... In the house, looking at his wife and daughter reminded me of us, a year ago. They were grieving for their lost one. Especially if it's an unexpected one like this.. When the decease arrived, people were all squeezing in the house. Wanted to have one last look of the person who was famous for his voice and comedy. His face was so called 'blue' in colour due to the chemical used to prevent the smell from arising. It was a sad moment. Soon after, we left the house, giving others the chance to have a look at him for the last time. Downstairs, there were lots of ppl. All those from the suria channel. There's guys frm anugerah, anugerah skrin... all da actor and actresses. Was super nice to see all of them there...esp the boys. But wadahell, om attending a funeral, not boy hunting, thou i'd love to do so. hehhe... Reached home around 3+am. Slept at 4+. WOke up for school at 7am. Now im having 4 hrs break after an hour of lecture. Will be having 2 hrs of bio pract latr. Then, NETBALL! Im gonna suffer again. oh my... i gt this from my email..kinda true abt me.. hahha.. LEO WOMAN She will stand out of the crowd on the street. Leo woman normally tall or rather tall. You will hardly see a short thick woman. When she walks she walk like a queen, confident and does not look around, though as if there is no one around her. She will dress in her own style not according to fashion. She is confident of what she choose to wear. Do not buy cheap cloths where they sell in dozen for her as a gift, she will hate it. Also do not buy cloths that do not reflect her confident personality. She likes unique and strange cloths and accessories. Being different is what she loves. If you want to know her, take times and be patient because she is selective about people she mingles with. She's open minded, but yet she is not letting people get to close to her easily. She likes sweet words and compliments, but not too much. She smiles with anyone, but inside she thinks she is borne to be a leader. She likes to be in control because it is in her nature instinct. She is a graceful woman , and she has a magnetic charisma, so expect tough competition. She is a very proud person, so do not do anything to challenge her confident. She can be mad and act like a hurricane, and later can be like an innocent kitten, but do not fall for her O.K. She remembers everything and likes to cherish her sweet memory, so if you find her old photo albums with her ex-boyfriend or love letters that will make you puke, take it easy. She is keeping her sweet memory does not mean she still in love with the old fool, so you do not have to panic. She will have many guys run after her, so if you have advantage of a good background family, or a famous last name, a successful career then it's a plus. She hates to be poor and she thinks love will not pay bills. She is a sport type and love sports. If you want to date her, prepare to spend big bugs, for your first dinner with her can not be a hot dog stand, but better be the best place in town. She is a generous person, so do not be surprise if she give you a gift more expensive than what you gave her. She likes extravaganza, no cheap gift, no cheap dinner please. Being poor or broke make her depress. If you do not have lots of money, be creative and make your own gift for her. It's unique quality and times spending making it for her is a big deal. You can think economical, but do not be cheap. hahha..wadahell... WHY is everyone around me attached with a guy ? omg.. CAnt believe this is so depressing. At least it is to me.. I want to have a boyfriend..but im afraid. And its super troublesome lah..apart from the someone-u-can-turn-to theory.. but when i think about all those shit i have to go through again, its scarey. HOW? Want or NOT! Not as if i have one in mind lah. Hmmm... i dont know, i dont care! PEOPLE!!! IM AVAILABLE!!!!!!!!!! i hate doing projects. yup. true enough. who loves doing them? bet u, noone. especially when u're half way through and u're about to hand it or present it, when u realise u did a mistake for some. Urgh! i'm afraid we might do the wrong things. In fact, im afraid of everything. WHY? I wouldnt dare to do something coz im afraid. Im afraid of people, funny but true. I just keep having this feeling and it will never go away. To certain extent, its better to be afraid but u cant b afraid of everything right? But i can do nothing. I seems to be afraid of EVERYTHING! I wasnt aware that every sentence that comes out from my mouth, if anything that has got to do with doing something, i'll say,"dont want ar..scared!" -shrugged- Oh well, maybe im born a coward. U never know... i want somebody to love me... what the fuck lah.. so, was it my fault for giving u attitude or urs, for being so...urgh! i dont even have a word for u lah. Im blaming u for busying urself with others but dont give a hoot about me.. or maybe u did. And u said u tried to have a nice chat with me but i gave u shit. fuck!fuck!fuck lah! hais..happy 19th birthday fathiah.. |
