He was well when we last saw him, on first day of raye.. and then, ive got the news.
0200- time of death.
0400- brought home from hospital.
1200- left for burial at pusara abadi.

Ive no idea when was the last time i visited the cemetry, and ive missed it. Since we're there already, we visited afew 'houses'. I was fine, till i went over to my dad's. I just cant control my tears. Ive missed him.




He has been such a sweety. Thank you friend. :)


"...hmm.. i realise u're not really in de mood to talk to me. sorry if i've been neglecting the friendship/sisterhood we have.. actually it doesnt even deserve an IF. i really have been neglecting u. sorry for being such a horrible horrible fren. just that i've got so many things going on. work, dikir, fadhil, family. yah u might say it's all just reasons n more reasons. i mean, u've been quiet.. so i suppose u've been a hell lot busy. im ashamed at how i've so called "treasured" this friendship.again im really sorry. if u think u wana forgive me, just buzz me then we'll go out sometime. and catch a movie n catch up on ol' times. if u think im raking up reasons to cover up my sorry ass, den i believe i've tried my very best to convince u how sorry i am. my parents always keep asking for u.. soo dont think u're being pushed aside and left forgotten. i might not show it.. but u sure as hell shld noe that u're being missed..."

I brokedown. And that's what i need..

I hate it when my switch suddenly flick. Its just beyond control. And then i'll get angry with everything and everyone. I think i need to go for anger management. Like STAT.

I seriously want to be a better person. I envy those people with a genuine heart and are kind by nature. I think i have to try very hard to be kind. I very much dont want to be like how i was in secondary school. At times i really hate myself. But what am i supposed to do. Am i having issues with myself?

I may look happy, but am i?









She would bug u for the little details u've missed but i think thats what we need. Whos gonna nag at us now. Lately shes been fun, somehow. Gonna miss her. :)



Ayra is looking more like her brother and her brother is becoming more like a monster. Im not kidding.


Work has been ok, i guess. I cant say its good coz there were bad times. I cant say its bad coz there were good times. But im glad shes there coz shes able to understand the situation and the frustrations and the shitty things we need to do. xoxox..


And as for u, gf, i have nothing else to say. Really, i dont. tc!

My pms mode is on. I pity him. Thanks for tolerating, love. :) get well soooon!


I had the weirdest dream ever. I cried on your wedding day. But why?

Its almost 3 months and i think the excitement is wearing off. And now im doubting myself. opppsss....

Money..

Why is it so darn important nowadays?

Ive been working for at least 4 months and ive been giving away money since then. Or rather, ive been asked to give away my money. Well, i dont mind, really i dont. Since its for the family contribution. But some of the things are really not worth giving. Like seriously. U want an example? I can give u one.

Mom and 'someone' bought a car awhile ago, under mom's name. None of us knew til she had to break the news of whos gonna pay for it since that 'someone' couldnt pay for it. Seeing that my sis is not working full time, and brother, oh brother, loves spending money and im finally working and maybe has the highest basic, mom thinks i can pay half or even 3/4 of it. BUt i really dont think its fair. Like, u decided to get the car with that 'someone' and when that 'someone' cant pay for it, we have to deal with it. Here's the sad part. Its a damn expansive car for an average income family and its a weekend car and NOONE is using it. Only occasionally, my brother in law would use it. So the car would be left at the carpark most of the time but yet we are paying monthly for it. Like whats the point!

I can be very calculative if i want to. I know i shouldnt be selfish but i have my plans. I try to give what i can. I hope they understand. And its all about monnnneeeeyyy!

On a lighter note, i love h1.

xoxox, h2.