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herdiana
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Andy's lecture was depressingly annoyingly true, unfortunately coz its somehow related. I really dont need to know all that, not after the oh-so-sweet convo. NOT! Plus a few external factors (which btw, im happy for them but still, its torturing). Why oh why.. Sometimes i wonder what have i done to deserve this. If i were to be mean, noone likes it but when im being nice, i'll be taken advantage of. Can u tell me what im suppose to do? Continue being oblivious? Unlikely, but i can try. Anyway, eversince im aware that life is not all about hehe-haha, ive been pretending. And i think im good at that by now. I pretend that im fine when im not. I pretend that im happy when im not. I pretend that im strong when im not. Im aware that im a walking irony. But then again, whos not? How many people could see through me, im not sure. Maybe none. When im genuinely happy, it wont last. Curling up like a ball and cry, thats the only way to escape from this misery. My life has been incomplete eversince. Have u ever realise? Doubt so. "...im forced to fake a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life..." "...now i sit, all alone, wishing all my feelings was gone..." |
