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Ma stupidity
HUH..! hw cud i b so childish as well as selfish and unreasonable...? ha-ha..em luffing at maself fer ma stupidity..selfish-coz i wan him fer maself.. unreasonable-dun think of wad he feels.. childish-hope fer sumthing dat wun happen.. da whole dae i've bn wanting to mt him..thou i noe its impossible coz he gt his plan ready. at nyd..as irritating as ever..i kept sms-ing him, hoping he wud mt me..bt as expected..he cant coz hes out wif fwens.. did dat fer a couple of tyms dat i think he gt irritated alr..cant blame him..em at fault.. after our dinner, ma cuzz and i went seperate ways..in da buz..believe it or nt..i was crying...quietly. i cant control ma feelings.. i felt ashamed, sad, stupid, lost and lonely. all jumble up together.. took ma tym walking home. decided nt to go home straight. no one's at home. so i sat under ma void deck and cont wif ma revision wic was nt really effective coz ma mind was sumwer else..da funny thing was dat..em waiting fer him to cum..ya..u may luff coz i admit i was being stupid.. hes nt lyk sumone i knew once dat wud cum regardless of da time.. haiz.. by da tym da clock strikes 12 midnyd..i gave up. i packed ma bag and went home. still cant believe dat i actually waited..lesson to b learned..nt to wait fer sumthing dat u noe it wun happen.. hmmm...i hafta think rasionally..be positive and all.. guess i shud change ma attitude..well..i shud b going nw..gonna do ma revision..till everyone's home...nyd! |
