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herdiana
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i failed..
Dear Lina,fers of all..sori fer rejecting ur kols juz now..its juz dat..wen i asked u to kol..dats da tym i need u da most..i dunno to whom i wanna turn to.. end up i went to da toilet and burst into tears..y?? ok..todae..i gt bk ma complete papers of sci and mads..as expected..i failed.. 46 fer mads..43 fer sci.. but i really hope i'll pass ma eng.. da last period was eng lesson.. received back our papers..hmm...i failed..ya..unexpected..coz em one of da top student in eng.. well..i failed ma EMS.. can u imagine..? i was so disappointed in maself..in ma four yrs..i've nvr failed ma papers.. NVR..!!! den dis yr, wen i gt dis kinda results..em so upset..mayb i've always bn da high flyer..dats y i am feeling dis way..hmm...i dunno..da moment i calculated ma overall marks fer eng..and i found out dat i failed by a few marks..ma mood suddenly changed.. i went silent fer a few mins b4 crying.. i became even upset wen ma malay fwens..who supposed to b closer to me in class..din even care..i mean..i dunno if dey even noe dat em sad or crying.. dey juz dun bother.. surprisingly..ma chi guy fwens were da ones consoling me..wen da bell rang..ma malay fwens juz went off w/o even saying gd bye.. i was down der crying wen ma grp of chi plus sum malay gurls..approached and giv me moral support and advices..ma chi guy fwens stood at da door, still unsure whether to leave me alone or not..wen i leave da room..dey left too..well..at least now i noe who ma true fwens ar..thanx gurls and guys.. till now..one by one msg me..telling me to b strong and hav faith in maself..and dun give up.. well thanx again gurls..really appreciate it.. ma mood was affected..i duno y i became angry wen u said u'll kol ltr..i dunno wad came over me.. sori abt dat lina..hope u understand..em juz so disappointed in maself..i admit i din werk hard enuf fer dis exam..i din take it seriously..so i hav no one to blame except fer maself.. i dun wanna disappoint mama..she ever said.."By, tinggal by sorang lah harapan abah ngan mama.. by kene blaja rajin2..kakak and abg da tkde harapan.. ma and abah tk mintk sampai ke menara gading..poly je da cukup.. ok.." doz werds keep lingering in ma ears.. dats y em so sad wen i din achieve gd results..and oso..i feel lyk i betrayed their trust..sori mama..abah.. by janji by akan blajar btul2 frm now onwards..i juz hope i can hav da support frm everybody..fwens and ma family..but i noe they r der fer me...thanx ppl.. so yah..dats abt it.. i've created a history..crying aftr receiving ma papers..nvr in our five yrs..ma fwens seen me crying..coz i've always bn da happy-go-lucky type..guess i wun be dat lucky nemore... |
