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herdiana
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y am i feeling dis way...? am i begining to fergt abt him? i juz dun seem to bother abt him anymore..i kold him juz now to tell sum stuff abt tmr...(its his bdae)...he seems lyk he was kinda bz..so i made it fast..dun care if he doesnt wan to tok to me...bt da strange thing was dat..ma heart doesnt go wild while toking to him juz now..usually it does... strange...and its even stranger that i feel lonely wen ma fwen din kol me.. miz da voice i guess... wads wrong wif me...i thot ma luv was only fer him...? am i gonna stop luving him alr..? no way man...hes ma fers luv... nvr will i fergt dat man...wadever happens..hes der in ma mind and mayb heart...but wen i thot abt it maself...why shud i care abt him wen i dun even noe if he cares abt me... ryd...? mayb hes out der enjoying and em here..not giving maself anoder chance to love or be loved by sumone new..argh...i juz cant bring maself to...mayb em not ready... god...plz help me...if hes having fun out der and gt a new replacement and worst..have fergttn abt me...den let me hav dat kind of happiness too...i will try to totally frgt abt him if i hafta...i noe hes not cuming back to me... dats y em trying very hard to accept oders..bt dis heart of mine is juz very stubborn... haiz... mayb if ders sum1 who can really make me happy... i dun mind being wif him... em very lonely u noe.. if u wan me to juz wait fer him.. sampai bulan jatuh pun dia tk dtg blek... menyeksekn diri je.. fyn... i hav to prepare maself to face da werld out der man... not gonna stay timidly in dis room..but wen am i gonna be dat strong...???
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