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What's been happening? I had gum inflammation for one week. Meaning i could only chew on one side and that too can be difficult coz the unaffected side also caused pain when chewing. Hence, i can only eat soft diet. But im still not losing any weight! Darn! I have 2 more weeks of attachment before school starts. WHY! Oh oh, one morning, i woke up to find my kitchen transformed into a baby pool. Twas FLOODING lah. Quite bad for a home flood. Almost touching the cabinet door. Then, brother came to the rescue with a mop :) I asked someone, "why arent u asleep?" He replied, "cannot sleep. still sleepy" HAHA! Member confused. By right, i shouldnt make fun of him. opps! Right now, there's a group of SUPER NOISY immature boys under my void deck and mind u, im staying on the second floor. So basically i can hear their riotous laughter every now and then. Super inconsiderate lah. I dont understand why they cant speak softly when the surrounding is bloody quiet. And they smoke and i can smell it! One day u might just see my name on the front cover of the newspaper that ive caused a scene in the middle of the night. Just dont be surprise. Saw mr phee yesterday. He still looked the same but i dont think hes the person i once knew. What's happening b? Oh! Latest news i just got from mama a sec ago. My kitchen is flooding AGAIN! yey! lets play. (bugger) And Hakim just asked,"asal ko extra lawa plus cute kat dp ko" HAHAHA! kim, da sememangnye lawa lah. Wahuahuahua! Ok fine! Got to know a new friend. Apparently he's been in my msn list for quite sometime but i just cant be bothered to talk to him. ahah! Ahmad shufi, u've been introduced! Happy? (mygosh) Amsyar darling is sooo adorable that i feel like slapping him each time i see him. Like literally. HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY RAFTA ALIYA!!! love u! xoxox! I WANNA DANCE!!!!! I wanna learn salsa! Im still sticking to the idea of dancing salsa on my wedding dinner. How cool! Ive been having this thought whereby i'll strip my 'ken-ken' off and wear a sexy high slit dress and dance. Oh, ok, i so have to bring my future husband(whoever that will be) to salsa class. That will be a MUST! Its gonna be interesting!!! I cant wait! Step up 2 really influenced me and i feel like dancing now!!!! BUT i dont know how. Ive lost touch to modern dancing. It has been malay dance all along. ANd i suck at that too. :( I think i shouldnt watch any movies. When i watched korean shows, i wanna fall in love. Now i wanna dance. What's next? Please refrain me from watching any movies. Thank you. :) Gf and i found a new hobby. We find walking around tampines bus interchange and queue-ing up and then got out of the bus lane amusing. hahah.. Pathetic! Went over to her place after the movie and tried on the head band. I swear i have no idea how to wear them. Oh well...  I really do feel like slapping ur face ok! How annoying! THREE years ago, i lost someone dear to me. Three years ago, u left me in a lurch. Not that i ever blame anyone. Its just unexpected. I still miss u though. Secretly, i've always wish u could be here with me. But i keep reminding myself that though u're not physically present, u're always here, in my heart. i love u daddy. Considering the ongoing visits, the cry, the b-i-need-ur-help and the very last minute mugging, with that results, im happy. Period. Im going into year three. Please let it be good, and fast. :) Daily routine: sleep when the sun's about to rise and wakes up when the sun is at the hottest, laze aroud, tv, eat, computer, nap, light exercises(only for that period of time). yeah, basically that. How boring can my holiday be? All that due to being pennyless. So much for 'im gonna plan my holiday with lots of activities', yeah right! i NEED money!!! ouh yah, and COMPANY! Where's everyone? Its freaking cold today that sister, brother and myself are wearing sweaters. And im still cold. What a gloomy day. And to make it worse, NOONE msg me. Im like, 'hello, am i the only one alive?' On top of that, whats with the cramps and backaches. I hate thursday! Well, at least my internet is working today. Or else, i entertain myself with korean shows. Make me wanna fall in looooovvvveeeeeeeee! hehe.. I wanna go out please!!! Lets go ice skating! Whos with me? Speechless. The moment i saw u, i couldnt believe my eyes. And i know u were in shock as well. Unexpected huh. I caught u red handed. Managed to spent the day without thinking of anyone. Im glad. I cant seem to accept the fact if u were to see someone else. Its just not right. I realised it has been a habit to hold onto ur phone everynight, exchanging words. Just the thought of it could turn me off. Disgusted. If only im strong enough to go through it all... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SELINA!!! xoxox! WHAT a day! Lets see. I suddenly had the urge to wake up early and go for a run. Reason being was i think im getting flabbier and i got tired easily. Waking up at 8 was a very good effort, looking at how late i usually wakes up. :) My brother in law thought i was sleep walking. ha ha! So now, my body's begining to ache. Bugger! But i want to make this twice a week. Wasted the whole afternoon sleeping. And later that night, i was pissed with sister and there's noone for me to talk to. And there was him. Oh yes, " you make me smile even just for awhile". NOTE that i said just for awhile! Coz later, i was heartbroken. haha! But as im typing now, i think im so over him. Well, that's a good start. How ironic. But i wish u well. :) Oh, and here comes another friend who thought i was using him. WHAT!!! Am i the type who goes around making friends and then when i dont like, i chuck them aside but when i need them, i pick them up again? HELL NO! Infact i was always the one being used. How dare u even mentioned that. And to think that after tonight, things will get better. My ass! Here's a little advice for u, never judge anyone if u dont know shit about them. Yes, i am furious! and i dont care about ur feelings right now! But anyway, have a pleasant birthday. How i wish i could be there. NOT! Its crazy i tell u. To be heartbroken, furious and calm all at the same time. Oh, while i was trying to kill someone, i had to listen to one of my dear friend's problem(msn) and my cousin's(next to me). Dont get me wrong. Not that i had to. I wanted to. There's a difference. To Joey, i really do feel for u but all this problems can be solved if u take one step at a time. Persevere and u'll succeed. Trust me. Im just a call away aight! :) And cousin, stop smoking, get an inhaler, wait for the results and get enough rest! And dont stress urself up. Its bad that every doctors wanted to refer u to IMH! ha ha! ( ok people, he's not mentally disturbed, just tired). Phew! ok, i think im tired. Ive gone through enough for today and i'll have the whole day alone with my nephew tomorrow. Im praying hard that he'll behave. Oh! Thank you Gf and Rafta, for being there and listened to me rant! Its funny how the 3 of us felt the same way and were in the exact situation at the same time. FATED! haha. I still want that girls' day out to celebrate on our singlehood! Lets enjoy every minute of it! Love ya! :) Patience. Haven't i been trying to do so? While others go around trying to find their other half, im still holding back (ok, though ive been whining to have one, i dont desperately need one!) Lets see, how long has it officially been? 3 years +++? yup, around there. Lonely? Yes. Bored? Yes. Longed for that special feeling? Yes. But come to think of it, its better than to be misunderstood, when jealousy strikes and when u have to think for another person other than yourself. There's pros and cons of being single but im enjoying every minute of it, i think. Yes, yes, everyone has been talking about the movie, "The Leap Years". I wonder why but as soon as i watched it, i understand why. Personally, every line that has been said, send tingle down my spine. I realised everytime they mentioned something that was related to me, i will smile, face will flush and i'll nudge my friend. Oh how true!!! And i hate that feeling though i secretly love it! And all that comes down to one boy whom ive always have a crush on. Oh yes, has always been, right from the begining. And that's one good example of being patient. :) To whom it may concern, i thought ive dealt with it but who am i kidding? i can lie to others but i cant lie to myself or maybe to those who could see through me. Subconciously, u're still the one i think of every night before i go to sleep. :( For now, i'll just wait. How long will it take, im not too sure either. But i know someday, he will come (not the one im having a crush on). And that's when i'll believe in love. I told a friend once that missing someone hurts more than to love someone. Its true then, no doubt. Till then, i miss u...  us at the end of the dayElla was so funny. She confidently said 'mesuda' when its supposed to be 'medusa'. All her pronounciations go haywire and that's not the first eh ella. She just made my day lah! :) And gf is so NOT cool ok! u dropped 2-3 plates and thats pure butterfingers. At least mine was accidentally. It wasnt my fault those cups decided to fall and its bloody heavy and ella was just watching! Thanks ella. And KIDS! I know i look young but that doesnt mean u could 'flirt' with me. What are u? 16?17? I need a man, not a boy! No offence though. :) AND i DONT fancy mat motors! Those typical ones. Sorry eh bang, please help urself with the drinks. -whatever- That edwin look-alike reminded me of edwin and now im missing him! Ella just had to make it worst but i know what u said WASNT true! I think im tired but ironically, im still energetic and has been smiling since just now, unlike yesterday. OH!!! Thank you selina for coming over to my house at 3 in the morning just because i asked u to. Anyway, u havent seen amsyar. All the more u should come. :) ILU! ok, i love u too ella, and errmm.. gf! hehe. Its funny how ive always wanted to meet u guys but when i did, it felt strange. I just dont belong. Maybe its just me but then again, when one doesnt meet a group of friends for quite a period, one should feel excited and happy. Yes, i did laugh but was it really heartfelt? Maybe today my mood wasnt as good and those remarks did hurt me. Usually i dont give a damn about those sarcasms. And whats up with the faces?? sigh.. going home earlier was a good escape, i guess. To the one who fell, take care of urself.  Dinner at sakura was fun! At least thats the only time i felt genuinely happy. Other than that, today was kinda sucky. Oh MR sad-angry-annoyed, please go away. I want to be happy again. 
Any remedy to my confusion? And why am i still jealous? |
