Try having your relative admitted to the ward ur working in. And to make things worse, ur relative's kinda confuse. I was having a role conflict lah just now! Nurse VS Niece! Who do u think would win? A nurse whos doing her job or a niece whos 'disrespecting' her uncle? Crap lah.. that's what i got from him.. hahha.. kinda funny actually. but yeah, twas tough..

And again, i got the same question whenever im on attachment. Are u Filipino? Hello!! DO I LOOK LIKE ONE??!! I mean, no offence ar but its kinda annoying. Either that, i got people talking to me in mandrin. Of course i sort of understand what they said but how am i suppose to reply? Cant they tell that im MALAY! Not being racist here coz im not but please, just get the identity right. Im tired of thinking of how to react whenever this things happen. But as usual, i just smile.

Im missing people that i know i shouldnt be missing. But im missing them anyway... :)

The weather today was nice that i didnt want to leave the house or even take a shower. But i did, eventually, at 4pm. Heee.. ok. shut up! Went to cousin's place, thinking that its a small family function, not knowing that shes doing it under the void deck. Crap! And i was wearing jeans and casual top while others wore something nicER and appropriate!
Van-ed to CGH to visit my uncle and guess what? He's admitted to ward 49! The ward im currently work in. Guess i'll be seeing him tmr. He was kinda drowsy, so we left.

Mom wanted to go metro. We almost reached the place when the van was out of petrol. How clever of my dearly brother in law not to fill up the tank when he was aware of it getting emptier. So we had to wait for abang to get us a bottle of petrol. While waiting...




Finally...

hee..ok, i know i dont look like one!

Shopped mainly for bra.. Never gotten enough of those. hee.. Bought ice cream from swensens and home-d.

I was bored.. bye!


ok, ive never seen an orange egg! Ignore the stupid face pls!

What a background!

Goodnight!

First of all, i would like to thank all those who have brighten up my day with their well wishes and words of motivation. Special thanks to my DEAREST GF for the effort and the love u've given. Im so touched! heee... ok, i love u too lah. ggrrr...


Yesterday was a bad day and all i wished for was to have a better day today. And im so glad it was way better than i expected. Told myself to start the day with a smile and it worked.

Met kakak for dinner at fish&co. with mama, mak and abang. Ate something that i cant be bothered to even try to pronouce. :) And as expected, all the staffs, and i mean ALL, will come together and sing a birthday song but i never would have thought i would feel that way. Imagine, u have to stand on the chair in the middle of the restaurant and being announced as the birthday girl and have everyone singing for u the birthday song. Its so embarassing! They gave me a ermm.. what do u call that thing? firecracker? noo... nvm, u'll see the pic later. yea.. and while they were singing, i didnt know what to do and so i 'conducted' the 'choir'. heee... And i have people wishing me happy birthday from everywhere. I have to admit, it was a nice feeling though i dont know 95% of the people there. Oh yah, after me, there were 2 other mini celebrations. For a guy and an old woman. Its so unfair coz the woman which being called 'mother quek' did not have to stand on the chair. Crap!

Shopped around metro and home-d.

This may not be the best birthday ever but its definitely million times better than the last. If only abah's here...


Happy birthday HERDIANA!



mama and maksiblings



see hw reluctant i was...

yea, that's the thing! :)

its a pity the picture's kinda small coz its a nice one.

i wonder if that would be me and kakak in 40 years time.. NOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!

The only 2 presents i received. Of course, with jub's bottle of green tea. :) Oh, the flower's from selina.

And GF surprised me with her creativity. And at the end of the day, im a happy girl! :)


It has just been 3 days of attachment and im already exhausted. Its kinda hectic for me. And today, its just a very bad day. I brokedown. I've tried but i've got all the blame instead. Maybe there's something to be learn from this incident. Something that can really occur to me after i graduate. If i cant take the pressure, then, im not ready.

Having mixed emotion lately. I dont know if i should be happy or not. But each time it happens, its killing me slowly.

Oh, thanks SELINA, for the surprise! It was very unexpected. Simple gift but its the thought that matters. But if there's ever gonna be a second one, dont do it infront of my patients while im working. I just dont know how to react :)

Tired. Period.

So, all the excitement that ive been waiting for, for the past week, ends today. Went for changkat band investiture. Lied to the members that i wont be attending. They were begging like"diana, come lah.. come ok.. please lah. U have to come, i dont care. im sad, coz ur nt coming, bla bla bla...". The feeling's great when u know people appreciate your presence.


Most of the alumni came and i miss those people. Without them, band's kinda different. The whole thing went well. Blue ridge saga didnt sound like blue ridge saga though it was played by the alumni. I mean, we didnt get to practice much. So the whole music was abit rusty. hee..


I remembered when i was in sec 1, i was forced to join band by mother! Initially, i hate it coz i was the only malay. But then, i grew to love the band. And i never regret joining them. After i graduated, my heart was still with the band. I just cant let it go. I have no idea why. And i always miss the band.


Today, when i saw my juniors receiving high ranks and posts, i just smile. Do u have any idea how it feels like to see ur juniors grown up? Maybe im too attached to them. I swear they are the best juniors anyone could ask for. Its not just a senior-junior relationship. Its more to that. Especially to Don and Fabian, ive seen them grow and we work well together. I love them and im so gonna miss them once they graduate from changkat.


It seems like horn section really have potential leaders. I was the band commander/major/concert mistress, Don and Fabian were the drum majors and now Ayu's the ast band major and drum majorette or something like that. How cool! I got the best alumni last year, and this year, both Don and Ayu got the best members. I think it runs in the family. :) Oh oh, i received a new rank and post. From a master sergeant, Im now a Second warrant officer and a honourable alumni council member! How cool! heee.. ok, shut up diana!


As i was saying, I LOVE THE BAND! And special thanks to my juniors, for all they have done esp Don aka donny boy and Fabian aka stinko, u guys always make my day.

fabian, diana, don



For those who wish to view the pictures : http://herdna.multiply.com/photos/album/1

Dinner at simpang bedok with a few people and saw Edwin. I just had the feeling he would be there coz he's always there. Indeed, i was right. Gosh, i miss him.. ok bye!

I found this in my thumbdrive. And after 2 years, i still find it true...

If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship,
you have two choices:
either tell what you feel and let the love take place
or hide the feeling under a friendship full of pretensions.

It's hard for two people to love each other when
they live in two different worlds
but when these two worlds collide and become one,
that's what you call magic!

Love can never be so beautiful without friendship.
One leads to another and the process is irreversible.
The best of lovers is the greatest of friends!

I like you because you're my friend,
and because you are my friend I care,
and because I care, I love you.
I don't love you because you are my friend,
I love you because I do!

Sometimes I've asked myself,
what would make me happy?
To think that I have everything else,
I get what I want.
Then I realized it was YOU,
too bad 'cause it's you i can't have.
I can't choose who I'm gonna love,
but I also can't love who chooses to love me.

And you can't blame me in choosing to love you
as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me.
I'm sorry if you can't love me
the way you loved the one before me,
so I'll let you go find her and hope someday you'll see that
the one true love you're looking for was the one who set you free.

"How can I say goodbye to someone I never had?
Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine?
Why is that I miss someone I was never with
and I ask why I love someone who's love was never mine?"

Isn't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love;
we hardly notice the one we're really looking for was just there.
You don't notice them 'till they are in the arms of someone else.

Food for thought, think of this:
Have you really cared for someone more than you expected?
Have you ever tried to love him/her despite of all the pain?
Will you keep on loving him/her as he/she whispers someone else's name?
Will you?

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love
rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.
When you love someone, don'texpect that person to love you back the same amount.
One of you will be head, the other behind.
It's either you catch up or the other waits.

When you love, you must not accept anything in return,
for if you do, you're not loving but Investing.
If you love, you must prepare to accept pain,
for if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using.

True love hears what is not spoken,
and understands what is not explained,
for love doesn't work in the mouth,
nor the mind, but in the heart...

Love is like standing on wet cement,
the longer you stay the harder it is to leave
and you can never go without leaving your prints behind.

Don't love a person like a flower,
because a flower dies in season.
Love them like a river because a river flows forever.

Love doesn't have to have a happy ending,
'cause love doesn't have to end at all.

Never be afraid to fall in love.
It may hurt alot,
it may give you aches and pains,
but if you don't follow your heart,
in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.

Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again.

The cruelest thing a guy could do to a girl is
to let her fall in love
when he doesn't intend to catch her fall!
And fooling around with her feelings like they meant nothing.

To think that i have this poem all along...

Happy birthday Izzah.. :)


Awaken by mama coz mak wanted company. Of all places, to EXPO! kill me..


Met her at 12noon. Fetched nadiyah from pasir ris. My darling cousin aint street smart and so he went into the wrong route. Reached expo ard 1245. Walked around. Nothing much over there. Bought lots of food for mama and kakak. They asked for them. Home-d around 3pm. Slacked all the way.


I dont even know whats my schedule like for this week. And i was told there's only one lesson tmr. Crap!
Happy birthday Hudah!

Showered at 1600. Stayed home til 1845. Watched Harry potter with a friend at 1900. Nothing exciting. Went straight home. Placed the wrong key under the mat. Forgot to return the spare key to our neighbour. Waited for mak to return home. Planned to go over to get it from her but she came to our place instead just to get that freaking door open and to send mama's stuffs. So its not too bad.

Its not that i want to be cold. Its just that i dont know how to relax... im sorry. U've tried.

Cant wait for saturday!

Received this twice within an hour.." that's the COLDEST herdiana ever..u wont hear from me from now on..i'll wait for ur call.. And.. whoa..always so COLD.. im not gonna msg u anymore!" Same description from two different people.

Am i that bad? I need to change..

Ok, listen up! Im not trying to gloat but this is unexpected.
I had my STD presentation today and i was kinda excited about it. It was a secondary school setting/layout. I was the pms principal and the people had no idea what we were doing. They only knew that they entered into Nanyang Secondary School coz i pasted the name of the school on the door. And so, when they sat down, i did an impromto thing. I remembered how things happened when i was in secondary school. So i just stood there and with a firm voice, i said, " put on ur school tie before the assembly begins. Boy, sit down!" Hahah.. Luckily there were clever enough to absorb the whole situation fast.

The "exhibition" went well. So was the games. Only that we took way longer than 20 mins. Hehhe.. The pamphlet and goodie bags were distributed. They liked them. The demostration on "how to wear a condom", was funny. We laughed alot. Oh Oh, during the morning assembly, i suddenly shouted, " sekolah sedia!" and there was a flag on the screen.. So everyone was like, "eh, stand up stand up" AND Haslinda stood up too. They were just about to stabalise themselves when i shouted, "sekolah, senang diri"! And everyone was like, "cehhhhhh".

As i was saying, everyone was ''into' this exhibition. At least, thats what i thought. The room was very colourful. There's posters on all 4 walls. Its not like a typical presentation. I dont know how to describe. Those who were there, they unsderstand what i meant.

And the best part was, WE GET AN A+!!!!! And and and.. haslinda said, "this is the best presentation among all my groupS!" Does that mean only from our class or with other classes? Oh well, i was just happy! Still am. All our effort has been paid off. Sorry if i sound like an arrogant bitch. Im just happy. I was afraid things might not go as planned but it did, somehow. AND i would like to thank all my friends in nr0626 for being there. If its not for my ICA, there wont be any school today. But they came. Some were sick but they still made the effort to attend. THANK YOU!

Bus-ed to tampines with rafta. I was craving for chicken rice. Walked around with my horribly high heal shoe. Stopped by toys'r'us for a moment and guess what!!! I saw a toy lizard or something like that and i know Rafta would freak out if i show her. Indeed! She literally threw down my bag when i placed it on the bag, next to her hand(oh, we exchanged bag). And she was shrieking and all. SO FUNNY! I cant forget the look on her face. HAHA! Slacked at bedok Mac's till 10.

Tired.

That look...unforgettable...

We didnt had time to take a picture of the classroom coz there's another class waiting for the room. And so...
stupid nyonya!

That's the toy i was talking about. Its soft and rubber-ry!

bye!


It's over, i guess. Moving on, i hope...

I dont need u and i dont need u tooooo.... I just need my NAQIAH!

Seriously, who else manage to make me smile or laugh when im at my worst? ONLY HER! Just at the sight of her, i'll start smiling. Even when im mad at her for being late, i'll literally smile BROADLY! and i swear that hatred would go away. I dont know how she did it. But thanks anyway.. u've never failed to make my day. Oh, shes one of those u'd never wanna lose. Though she's a bitch most of the time, i love her still. hahha.. I mean, being a bitchy bitch is goooood! but not when im the victim! :)

Now, who say u need a guy to feel complete..? Just as long as u have ur darling friends, especially the ones who wont walk away from u, nothing else matters..

im already missing u bitch!

HAHAHAH! :)


Sometimes i wonder, who am i to u...?

U've changed.. U're no longer the person i once knew.. Disappointed.

Whats happening to all the people i cared for? Oh well, just not being appreciated.. goodbye.

All i did was writing huge letters on the vengard for 12 freaking hours. Ok, maybe the project didnt take me that long. I took my own sweet time since noone was around to nag or irritate me. Gosh i hate projects...

Sister's being annoying and sometimes, i hate it. Im trying my best to change for the better but im hot tempered since young. So its difficult to adjust. I know i shouldnt react that way but sometimes, it just happen. Its like, ok, u can call it mood swing. One minute, im smiling.. Then when i dont feel like talking and yet i have people talking to me, i'll get irritated and i'll give them attitude. I know i shouldnt have, trust me, i know.. But i cant control it! I need to see a counselor.

Ive been hearing of people having the best birthday ever with friends or someone special. So far, i had none. I had the worst birthday last year though. I wonder how it feels like to have surprises.. Im not expecting anything this year since i'll be having my attachment. Crap! Anyway, its just another day. Whats the big deal..

Friends are coming over tmr to complete the project. Guess its going to be another boring day.

5th of july. What's so special about that date? Oh yea, its my dad's birthday.

Its been 3 yrs since we last celebrated his birthday. What was the last gift i gave him? I couldnt even remember. Why? Coz i took things for granted.

Today, while eating with a friend of mine, i saw a father and daughter near us, eating together. And that image suddenly struck me. We had those moments together. Though he was tired, knowing that i was hungry, he brought me out for lunch or dinner. He even took the trouble to get me breakfast, when he was supposed to sleep. And that's when i remembered shouting at him when he asked whether im hungry. And that was our last conversation.

Im sorry i had to leave the table. I need some time to calm myself down. But thank you anyway. U were there...

Happy birthday, abah.. I miss u badly. Do appear in my dream..that's all i ask for...

Maybe i should stop myself from trying too hard. Coz i realised it wont be appreciated. Thank you.

Happy 20th birthday fathiah.